A Ghost Inside You

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, you’d still get haunted on this day -

Halloween. Surprisingly, it’s not the person’s ghost that would scare you, nor the bloody

basements you saw in horror movies (unless you killed someone), and it’s not the soft,

creepy whispers you will hear at three o’clock in the morning. Maybe, it’s something

that is more frightening than that.

Letting go is a scary word when it comes to death. The death of the person you

love could either be sudden or expected. No one is able to tell when it would be, even

doctors get it wrong sometimes. So when you face that sudden occurrence, grieving

would torment you. Aside from just being sad, you could get angry, shocked or just

empty.

You will have so many questions about the death, some what ifs, guilt, and

regrets regarding the death. Losing the person is hard enough but you’ll have to go

through various kinds of pain and longing.

You will be haunted by the memories of the person and it would be like a prison

that’s hard to escape from. You will keep coming back to it and reliving it just so you

could feel the person again. A nightmare that you would rather stay in because you still

want to be with the person is what their death would feel like.

Inside you would be a matter of “I should have done this before you were gone.”

You will think of all the things you wish you did for that person if only he/she didn’t die.

You might have wanted to take them to a beautiful flower garden, a prestigious mall,

buy them a tasty dish that you know they never had before.

There would be many words left to say to that person yet you won’t have the

chance to say it anymore. Even if you say it aloud, you know that you’ll just be talking to

the air and that they won’t ever hear you.

The most haunting part is the regret you will feel. Regret might be the most

difficult part of moving on. With sadness, you just learn to live with it and forget it as time

passes by but with regret, you will have an anguished mind.

More than ghosts, you’d be more scared of letting them go and they still haunt

you. It’s not a ghost that’s easy to get rid of because it is inside you.

I hope that this Halloween, you won’t be haunted anymore. Remember them

but do not let the sadness and regrets haunt you forever.